SSB

I'm going to tell you something and you may not like it, but my dear friend Katie taught me the value of honesty (with yourself and others) and because of our relationship I find it harder and harder to hide my thoughts and feelings simply because someone else may think they're weird when it's actually just me. So with that being said, I have to tell you that I have a new guilty pleasure...

I downloaded the newest Danity Kane album and I cannot stop listening to it!! There! I said it!

I guess it's my "secret single behavior" (or "SSB" - not that Gerald and I have broken up, but I am single in the sense that I am not married) and I'm sure my love for these girls (among other things) will drive my Gerald crazy when we are married. But to be totally transparent, I've loved these girls since 2005 and my love for DK has only grown stronger. I have both of their albums and I've watched every episode of Making the Band since before they were introduced.

Some of you might be saying "OMG...I thought I was the only one!" while others are saying "OMG...not you too!!" or "I ain't never heard of them hussies!!". Whatever your response, I'm absolutely sure that buying that album has been the best thing I've done all since coming back from Vegas (which was the best thing I'd done since coming back from Hawaii).

Something in the music makes me wanna dance. Makes me wanna swing my hair and pout my lips and rock to a beat only I can make sense of...know what I mean?

I imagine that my alter ego (I think her name is Evan) is the girl they talk about in the song "Bad Girl". Nothing makes me happier than walking down the streets of New York in my nearly-designer clothes listening to a song whose lyrics read "I'm so hot when I walk I leave smoke in my tracks...". I hear those words and trust them to be absolute truth. I just feel like I can conquer the world!!

Perhaps it's just because of my intense connection with music. I've often said that if I had to pick one thing to have for the rest of my life it'd be a radio...hands down. I believe that it's not always the beat or the artist that attracts me, but because I have emotions so deep that my own words cannot express them...so I'll listen to a song - over and over if I have to - to work out whatever it is that's weighing heavy on my heart. Good or bad. Maybe that's why I love musicals so much. Whatever they feel, they sing it right then and right there...

Amelia's Bail Out Plan

Here's what I would do with $700,000,000,000.00

1. Tithe 10% to my church
2. Pay off my mother's house
3. Pay off my mother and sister's cars
4. Pay off my debts (college and credit cards)
5. Pay for my sister's college
6. Set aside money for my wedding
   
7. Buy a place in NYC, Austin, the Pacific Northwest and a tropical location
8. Buy furniture for the houses
9. Buy a car...assuming I need it
   
10. Buy my mom a house in whatever city she wanted (probably Austin though, she likes the city a lot. Right on the lake so she could watch the sun set and drink tea - I'll probably pay all of her bills too)
    
11. Give my mom a monthly budget for stuff (like food and entertainment)
    
12. Set aside money for my children to go to college
13. Fund my friend Katie McClure's hypothetical fashion line
14. Pay for Allison's honeymoon (I work w/her and she figured I could afford it)
15. Buy a new wardrobe for SURE!
16. Fund a cure for AIDS
17. Fund a cure for cancers
18. Give Nathan $1,000,000.00 (I work with him too)
19. Invest in something...not sure what
20. Invest in charities...not sure which ones
    
21. Give books to illiterate children
22. Open a soup kitchen
23. Open a book store
24. Open a bakery
25. Give Karen a house with a big back yard and a garden (I work with her too)
26. Get Karen a personal trainer (just once a week - we're not trying to go overboard here)
    
27. Travel (Backpacking in Europe sounds cool, maybe Asia too)
28. Mission trips - probably live in a few other nations for a while
    
29. Adopt some children (American and otherwise)
    
30. Get a personal trainer
31. Get a personal chef
32. Get a stylist
33. Not that my money would guarantee this, but I'd become friends with Heidi Klum, Chris Brown, Beyonce, Oprah!, Brooke Sheilds, Denzel Washington, Tina Turner, Alicia Keys and some other people
    
34. Produce a movie (probably my friend Lindsey's)
35. Open a dance studio (for my other friend Lindsay)
36. Take creative writing classes
37. Become a venture capitalist (obviously)
    
38. Get a pair of glasses
39. Get lasik
    
40. Go to a movie premier
41. Build a school
42. Get Hannah a Swedish massage in Sweeden, or some tropical location (I work with her too)
43. Invent something/give money to someone who wants to invent things
44. Help re-build New Orleans
45. Go to the moon
46. Go on an underwater excavation mission
47. Try to find dinosaur bones
48. Go cave diving
49. Do extensive research on volcanoes (lots of tropical islands required for this kind of project)
50. Buy a new iPod
51. Buy a new BlackBerry
52. Figure out what the big deal is with Ethanol-powered cars
53. Become a wine connoisseur
54. Buy a franchise
    

I can't really think of anything else to do, and I feel like I can really do all of those things in about a 6 month time period...or at least get the ball rolling. I would stop working for sure, but I would volunteer places.

What would you do?

Tight Body.org - Part Deux!

Have you ever volunteered to have your ass kicked? Yes, I said "ass". Under normal circumstances I am not one to use profane language, however, I am a true believer in levels of beatings and the work out I did tonight can only be classified as an "ass kicking". You see, tonight was my very first visit to Equinox and I was not warned!! Let it be known from here on out, if you cannot tell if your fitness instructor is a man or a woman, you're about to get a serious beating. Let me see if I can describe the situation...

I arrived at Equinox at approximately 6:15pm. It was a full house!! It is Equinox's anniversary and they are throwing a huge membership drive disguised as a celebration. Every gym in the nation is stuffed with ripped out trainers and alcohol - thus enhancing the chance of memberships (the initiation fee alone is $525. $525!!!!!! FIVE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE FRICKIN DOLLARS!!!!). But, as I mentioned in a previous blog I got a free 3 month membership; initiation fee waived - unless I want to sign up sometime between now and Thursday and my fee is actually only $17 (which ain't a big deal. Too bad monthly dues are still $139), so I figured what the hey! Everyone I talk to freaks out when I mention the place, might as well give it a look see. I meet the membership manager and she does her little song and dance and suggests that I take "Powerstrike" at 7 - you know, your typical kickboxing class. I take my stuff to the well stocked women's locker room (includes towels, shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, more towels, razors, shaving cream, cotton balls, some more towels, body wash, showers, bathrooms, steam room, even more towels, q-tips, blow dryers, outlets, mirrors and did I mention towels??!!) and skipped up three flights of stairs to the classroom. I mixed myself in with the rest of the potential Powerstrikers and watched the big hand of the clock inch toward the 12, tugging the little hand atop the 7. We flooded the classroom - all 100 of us. Yes, one hundred people in one fitness class. The music began and we all mimicked her (?) steady march - you know, the one that makes you think "ok...I can do this". Then Jab! Jab! Punch! Not bad, I can do that again. Jab! Jab! Punch! Oh! I feel strong now! Jab! Jab! Punch! Wow...I'm gonna look great! Jab! Jab! Punch! OMG! I can't wait to see my delts! Jab! Jab! Punch! Kick! Wait...what???

It continued like this for an hour, combination after brutal combination. Jumping, turning, squatting, kicking, punching and yelling! Oh my lord the yelling! My guess is the only way the regulars get through is by counting down - and for a beginner (who thought the class was only 45 minutes) the frequent count downs helped me keep my sanity. By the time the class was done all of my make up had run off of my face - I think the grunting scared it away. Several people even wiped their sweat from the ground - there was so much that they felt it would prove disastrous if left to stand.

Somehow my legs carried me down the three flights of stairs and into the women's locker room where I proceeded to sit in the steam room for a good 15 minutes. All I can say is thank God I found my way to the subway without passing out, because if I hadn't I would've dropped right outside the doors of the gym only to have paying members step over me and chuckle "First time 'Striker, eh?!"

I hope I'm able to get out of bed in the morning.

Saturday Night Thinking Club

Some random thoughts I had while watching SNL...

I was just thinking...Gerald is the best man I know. Today was a rough day, I found myself feeling particularly low and prone to tears. He suggested seeing a movie so I could get out of the house and stop moping (not mopping...like with water and Pine-Sol), so I looked up what was playing at my local theater. When I called him to say that I was going to head out to the see the show, he asked if I would like to go on a date with him. But how?!?! You might ask...well, he'd simply see the same movie around the same time in Austin. Isn't that just the sweetest thing? He's the best!!!


I was just thinking...Rihanna's songs are confusing. Half the time I find myself making up the words because I can't understand what she's saying. For example my interpretation of the bridge in her latest single Disturbia is...

"Release me from this curse I'm in. Try to be tame but I'm strugglin'. If ya cankle-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hum. Think I'm gonna ay ay ay ay ayyyyy!!"

My good friend Leslie swore up and down for the longest time that she was saying "Gonna stand by myself in my tubesocks!!!" at the end of Don't Stop the Music. And you know what, maybe that's something that they do in Barbados, but I've never been. So if you're reading this Rihanna, I think you're songs are hard to interpret, but I like your haircut and your eye makeup is really cool. Oh, and since you're "good friends" with Chris Brown, would you mind introducing us? Not that I'd ever date him, but when Gimme That came out in 2006, I was convinced that I was the older woman he was talking about. Who knows, maybe he made it to Lubbock and happened to witness the magic that happens when I step on the dancefloor...


I was just thinking...MACs are cool, but PCs are affordable. I mean yes, it's cool to edit art and stuff, but I really only check Facebook, email and play Rollercoaster Tycoon and I don't think I should have to forfeit my rent, electricity and groceries to do those things. Don't get me wrong, I think they're awesome, but for me computers are all about utility and I wouldn't use the features a MAC has in a million lifetimes simply because I have no need for them. I'll stick with my whimpy little HP for now.


I was just thinking...I might be a TV snob. Is it weird that I never got into shows like Felicity, One Tree Hill, Smallville and the like because I thought the qulality of the shows production looked poor? Maybe it was just the way it was filmed. Is it weird that I also don't watch shows like Gossip Girl, Laguna Beach, The Hills and The O.C. because I was sure they were all the same?

Location: Some place you've never heard of or have no desire to visit
Characters: People you should avoid at all cost
Plot: Girl A likes Boy B, but Boy B likes Girl C. Girl C is secretly crushing on Mr. X, the chemistry teacher/professor who happens to be either a [insert illegal/immoral/socially unacceptable action] or a [insert humanitarian or aspirational act/financial amount which speaks to security according to community standards] - either option will make him infinitely attractive because of the possiblity of transformation within himself or the community. Then there's also Boy A who likes Boy B, but can't reveal it until the 5th season because he's [insert high school/college popularity identifier]. Girl B is the glue that keeps them all together. She doesn't know it but she'll either die or contract a serious disease during season 3, which will make all of her friends and family become really introspecitve. Boy C is notoriously bad and gets everything he wants.

Some of the roles may change and there may be some cougars or a witty younger sibling mixed in, but for the most part they are the same. I guess never-ending drama makes me bored.


Does anyone else have this many random thoughts within a span of 20 minutes?

Look Before You Leap

Can I vent for a minute? I'm discovering that people are crazier than I thought!

Tell me this...if a new person started at your office and was new to the city would you, after meeting him/her for the first time, offer them a place to stay at either your or your good friend's home for an indefinite amount of time? I don't think I could ever do that, simply for the fact that I don't know if this person is a sociopath or something and I wouldn't want to be obligated to them in any way or responsible for them if they lacked the gumption to follow through on bills, etc. You can call me crazy, but I would call myself discerning and cautious. That's what this one girl at the office did. This guy started at T3 a few months ago and she, in an effort to extend a friendly hand to an out-of-towner, took him to lunch on his first day and then proceeded to have her friend agree to allow him to stay at his apartment. The lunch I can understand, the squatting I'm not so sure about - I'd need some references or something. Turns out, this guy was perverse and very crude. She later confessed that the more she learned from her friend, the more she wished she had no personal ties to our co-worker. Well...duh! In case you hadn't noticed, people in New York are a strange breed (this is apparent in the fact that many of them are willing to pay $1,500 for an apartment you can barely squeeze a queen sized bed in), not to mention the fact that people aren't becoming more wholesome or pure these days, so you absolutely MUST be choosy about your friends and with whom you associate. If not to protect yourself, at least to protect your reputation (professional and otherwise) - as the saying goes "Show me your friends and I will show you your future".

I wonder if she checks her bank account before going shopping...

...And do you know what He did???

This weekend I had a slight emergency. You see, when I moved to NY I was sure that any store would carry my favorite shampoo and conditioner. Unfortunately I was wrong. So I called my mom in a state of absolute distress because the product that I bought was making me look like the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz (except I had no nifty hat to cover it up - stupid Infusium 23). I told my mom to go to the store immediately and send me the largest bottles of Silk Elements she could find. As we continued to chat she revealed to me that she was completely done with ALL of her chemo/radiation and that her doctors didn't need to see her again until December for her regular mammogram.

My mom is cancer free...(did I ever mention that my mom has breast & kidney cancer? Well, I guess it would be past tense now - so HAD...she HAD breast and kidney cancer). HALLELUJAH!!!! GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

She was only diagnosed in December 2007 and here we are, less than a year later and she's done. Of course she'll have to have check ups for the rest of her life, but the hard part is officially over :) THANK YOU GOD FOR SAVING MY MOMMY!!! You have always protected our little family with so much love and mercy. I cannot say thank you enough!!

One More Thing...

I watch this clip at least once a week. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. The fact that Shia LaBeouf is wearing a shirt with a unicorn on is cracks me up every time. The rest of the sketch is just the cherry on top of comedic genius...

Aloha!!!!

Well...I guess now would be as good a time as any to update you on my trip to Hawaii...

Most people save these kinds of shenanigans for their honeymoon or an anniversary, but I have been blessed to have a wonderful friend who actually lives there and was able to host me for a whole week of fun in the sun.

I'm not going to give day by day because to be totally honest, I did the same thing every day, which was nothing (I think I even wore the same thing for 3 days in a row - a bathing suit and cover-up). So I'll just give highlights...

I was amazed by...
How beautiful the land is. I really do think that "Hawaii" is a derivative of the word for "God showing off" in a Heavenly language.

Sunset on the North Shore (famous for it's enormous waves and surfing champs)









Look closely. You can see three distinct colors of blue! All I could think the whole time was "God of wonders beyond our galaxy, you are HOLY! HOLY!"




Funniest Moment...
We were at a club for Ladies Night and this total cougar was doing her West Coast Swing dance moves on the dance floor. I mean, for serious, imagine trying to do this drunk...



My friend Katie went out there to try to dance like her and it was HYSTERICAL!!!


My favorite moment...

We spent my last day on the East Coast of the island of Oahu. We sat on the beach watching the big, beautiful ocean roll in and out (while we swam I freaked out b/c I saw a huge, mysterious animal and begged to leave the water immediately. In reality was a the sand being churned by the water - I'm such a 'fraidy cat). Soon enough a family of 6 came along and the children started dancing to Jack Johnson's "Upside Down" being played by a local on a ukulele. There was so much joy and peace on that beach. I never wanted to leave. This definitely goes into my Top 5 Moments of Life archive.


Other things to note...

I jumped off a huge piece of volcanic rock. I'm a terrible judge of distance so I have no idea how high it was, but I would say it was approximately 30-40 ft high. I was really freaked out. When I got to the top I thought "Am I too old to be jumping off of stuff like this?" Whatever the answer was, I jumped anyway :)







I saw a double rainbow! Hawaii is famous for these! I also saw a FULL RAINBOW which I have never seen in my entire life. Unfortunately there was no gold at the end of it.






My friend Katie is so humble and kind. I love hanging out with her and I have been truly blessed by her friendship. We will be friends until we are 80; at that time we will re-negotiate our friendship contract :)

[L to R: Kim T, Me, Katie & Kim B]

Great Expectations

For the past few weeks life has pretty much sucked. Most days were frustrating at best. Stuff at work has just been really crazy and then to come home and return in fewer than 12 hours is really draining. I found myself daydreaming about other careers…most of them involved giving tours in tropical places or selling pastries. This past Sunday I prayed and asked God to redeem the week that was to come (8/18). My team had a big client presentation on Tuesday, so I also asked for favor and open minds. That evening when I went to church the Lord really spoke to me about being the woman he called me to be (Col 2:20 – 3:10). I went home and immediately emailed the pastor and thanked him the message and let him know that it really encouraged me for the week to come. I even emailed some of my co-workers (fellow Christians) and let them know my prayer for the week. That night I went to sleep with great expectations.

On Monday morning I walked in knowing it was going to be a very late night, but I never predicted that I’d be walking down 5^th Avenue with my boss at 12:45am hailing a cab back to Brooklyn. But the preparations for Tuesday’s presentation were quite extensive and my work mantra is “Team work makes the dream work”, so the late night was inevitable.

And guess what! Tuesday’s presentation went splendidly. The Lord really came through and there was a lot of favor thrown our way. Several of the people in the room even called my boss personally to tell her how much they appreciated the work and were excited to see what came out next. I’m not gonna lie, it’s a good feeling when you know the people on your team want to work as hard as you do – it will usually produce great results.

Another great thing happened on Tuesday! Some of my friends from Austin were in NY for a few days and invited me to dinner. I agreed and met up with the guys and headed over to Little Italy for some grub. I really love that area because it’s just bursting with live and action. There are lights, restaurants, shopping and even though I like to stay away from tourist traps it’s great to get out once in a while and enjoy those things that make other people think NY is such a cool place. One thing that struck me as extremely bizarre was that all the hostesses at the Italian restaurants were Russian! Isn’t that weird?? When we asked why they were in NY and how they wound up working in Little Italy they replied “Because I enjoy working here”

***insert skeptical look***

We figured it’d be best to leave it alone and just make up our own stories about the girls. The best one we came up with was that the Russian and Italian mafias had a plan to blow up the embassy (which embassy they were going to blow up was never clarified, but in all those spy movies there’s always an embassy, a diplomat or relative of a diplomat that is in danger, so we figured the story fit – I actually make up stories about people a lot. If I’m on the subway and I see someone that is of particular interest to me I’ll make up a little story about them or try to guess when they’ll get off the train. For instance, big sweaty bald guy, black duffle bag, gold wrist watch…oh! He’s a Pilates instructor, he’ll get off at 7th avenue stop in Brooklyn were he’ll meet his girlfriend for dinner in Park Slope. The bag is full of flyers for his next charitable event – save the North Atlantic Loggerhead Turtle. Even though I’m probably wrong most of the time, I like to play anyway, makes the ride more interesting).

Later walked around China Town and I even heard a woman yell “Fi’ dolla! Fi’ dolla! Sunglasses fi’ dolla!” it was awesome…really made the whole China Town experience compete. Got home late on Tuesday night too, but it was worth it.

Wednesday was really pretty uneventful except for the subway ride home. I was in a very crowded, but quiet car when at the second stop a homeless man stepped got on to make an announcement:

“Excuse me, excuse me! God bless you all. I’m homeless and hungry and if you can spare some food or some change I’d really appreciate it. God bless you. God bless you. It’ll really help, I’m so hungry. God bless you all”

A woman, conservatively dressed by any standards, reached in her purse and pulled out a few coins to give to the man. He thanked her emphatically and turned to walk to another part of the car, but overcome with her kindness he turned back to her, held up his fist and said “Awww…man! Put it right here!” The woman stared at his hand quizzically, shifted her focus to his dirty face and then back to his hand and gave the man dap with her diamond-clad fist! Immediately I tucked my chin into my chest to laugh. I don’t know if anyone else saw it, or if anyone else thought it was funny, but the two were such opposites and were able to connect on that level. It definitely gave her a little street cred in my eyes.

Thursday morning was eventful, but only for the few moments in my building’s elevator. You see, there is a family in my building with two elementary school age girls. I usually find myself meeting one of the girls in the elevator or playing with cousins outside (there are two middle-aged brothers in my building, both with school age children), but never together. The oldest (probably 6 years old), no matter the location, finds herself glancing in my direction, giggling and then hiding her eyes. Sometimes she’ll ask questions like “where do you live?” or “where are you going?” I always answer and she always grins and says “ooohhhhhh…”

One time I ran into her on the elevator and she assured her cousins, who were immediately silenced the minute I stepped on, that I didn’t bite. I was really glad that she cleared that up for us.

Anyway, this week I finally ran into both girls at once (accompanied by their father – the resemblance is uncanny). The eldest, true to form, looked, giggled and hid her eyes. The youngest (probably 4), however, was not as shy. Donned in her brother’s hand-me-down basketball shorts and a tee shirt, she openly quizzed her father about a burnt out light bulb on my floor.

“But why is it out?” she’d squeak, waving a water pistol – probably her brother’s too.
“Because that’s what light bulbs do” her father replied in a thick middle eastern accent.
“But why?” she said as she tilted her head, pistol still in hand
“Ummmm…” the girl raised her eyebrows in anticipation of her father’s response and scratched her head with the tip of the gun.

How do you explain why a light bulb goes out to a pre-schooler brandishing a weapon anyway?

It made me giggle. Saturday morning I saw them again, on the way to do my laundry, playing what appeared to be school with cousins The youngest girl (again in her brother’s clothes) was picking her nose furiously (FYI – this laundry mat thing is keeping me up at night. On the one hand it’s very convenient; you can wash all your clothes at once and it will probably only take about an hour out of your day vs. having your own washer and dryer and having to wash one load at a time and stagger loads because the dryer takes too long, etc. Back in Austin, it would usually take me hours if not days. But on the other hand, when I take my personal items – some of them with a certain scandalous air – to the laundry mat my neighbors are all privy to panties! It’s so embarrassing! The washer will buzz as if to say “Amelia! Your clothes are clean you dirty little girl! Such a you saucy little minx you are…rawr!!!” I’ll toss it all in the dryer only to blush as my underwear is strewn about for all of Brooklyn to see. Maybe no one cares, but I find that impossible to believe because I usually get astonished looks from the women).

The rest of Saturday was pretty uneventful; I watched “Elizabethtown” and gave myself a pedicure. More than anything the movie convinced me that I absolutely MUST take another road trip with Gerald. From time to time, my mind will sneak back to our trip to NY from Austin and it will bring this huge grin to my face. I think (this is just me…I haven’t actually run this by Gerald yet) that when I move back to Austin I’ll take a week or more off to move, ship my stuff to Austin, fly to Chicago, buy a car, drive to LA, vacation in California for a few days and then head back to Texas stopping at the Grand Canyon and various spots along the way...maybe I need a month. Give me junk food, a good play list and the open road and I’m golden…

So, long story short, the Lord redeemed this past week for the troubles in the weeks previous. Love that!

A Sign of Things to Come

If you've ever spoken to me for 10 minutes or longer you know that I love the movies "You've Got Mail" and "When Harry Met Sally" because they are two great stories about finding love in New York, a city filled to the brim with creeps (trust me!). While my true love is in a far off land, I believe I have found a prospect to fill the void. That's right...a new love has come my way...

Fall!

It is now the middle of August and I can't wait for a season that is actually negligible from the previous to reveal itself before my eyes. I look forward stepping out onto the city streets and seeing my breath materialize and then disappear just as quickly and bundling up so tight I can hardly move my arms, then arriving at my destination and releasing a deep, heavy sigh as if to confirm the near freezing temperatures.

I'm so pumped about the Fall that I'll probably go out of my way to step on a leaf that looks particularly crunchy.

Tight Body.org

It all started with Gerald. My baby is always trying to find a better way to do everything. He's a maximizer. He would be the modern day equivalent of the "good and faithful servant" in the Parable of Talents. He'll take your lemons and make lemonade, and the lemon merengue pie, then lemon pepper chicken wings and use the last slice in a cup of ice cold tea. Like I said he's a maximizer. So when I told him that I wanted to lose weight, he immediately started researching it and "encouraging" me.

***SIDE BAR***
I say "encouraging" because it didn't feel like that was what was happening. He would send me emails about the latest and greatest diet plans and I'd sit there thinking "Man! Can I get a love letter? Maybe an e-card? Does he really think I'm that fat? If he really loved me he would love me the way I am...no one loves me! I hate men!!!" Does anyone else recognize that train of thought or is it just me that goes there? Turns out the truth is really 2 fold:
1. Gerald wants to encourage me to reach my goals. If I wanted to go to the moon, he'd help me find the right boots. Any good man would do that. The same is true of my self-perception. He wants me to feel good about myself and the way I look. He would never put me down or insult me purposefully.
2. Let's face it, men are a proud bunch and they like to show off what they've got. That's why they buy the latest gadgets, cool cars and get the best colognes. So when their lady looks like she doesn't get out of bed for less than $50,000/day they get a boost of self-confidence. So everybody wins really.

ok...back to the story...

So Gerald's little encouragements can be really funny sometimes. One day, while I was working out, I decided I wanted to go carb-free. When I told him about it he nearly lost his mind. He was so glad that I finally had a plan of attack for this weight loss thing. So when I texted him the following Monday to tell him that I had turned down the bagels in the kitchen at work he texted back and said "BABY!! Saying no to bagels is saying yes to a tight body!!!"

I told my friend at work and she thought it was hilarious. We started coming up with little sayings

"Saying no to candy, cakes and pies is saying yes to a tight body"

"Saying no to excessive happy hours is saying yes to a tight body"

"Saying no to sitting on the couch and eating chips and oreos is saying yes to a tight body"

"Saying no to Dominican Cheese is saying yes to a tight body"


We even took it so far as to think up a site - tightbody.org. We'd have diet tips, unique workouts to meet you weight loss needs and apparel (all proceeds would go to our gym memberships and feeding children around the world). There would even be a few celebrity endorsements. All kinds of bodies and all of them tight. I use tightbody.org as an excuse for everything now. Friends will offer me food and I'll say "Actually, that's not on my tight body meal plan..." or I'll get a compliment on the way I look and I'll say "Thanks! Special edition tightbody.org jeans!" or I'll shrug and say "tightbody.org..."

I've been doing this for a month and I've lost 10lbs!! I know it's not much, but it's still a lot to me and it makes me really excited because I'm going to Hawaii and Las Vegas in August and September and I want to look great while I'm on vacation. I'll keep you posted...maybe some pics if I'm not too embarrassed :)

This is me (and Gerald) now. I'm not going to point out any problem areas or make a big deal out of anything, I'm just going to fix it and show you the after pics...ok?!






But my goal is this...I think I might be able to get a few free things in Vegas if I look like Beyonce...right?

Whose Line is it Anyway?

I need to be completely honest. I've been struggling over the past few weeks and I'm not so sure how do define it. Is it racism? Is it hatred? Whatever I could name it, in the end it's sin and it needs no "definition". That would only lead me to try to categorize it as better than this action, or worse than that one - it's just sin. So here's the deal, I live in a neighborhood with a lot of Hasidic Jews and I find myself reacting whenever I see someone in the street. I'll roll my eyes or think some sassy little thought (i.e. "I wonder if those curls help him feel closer to God...", "I know he's hot in that suit!", "I understand that this is the Sabbath and all but it would be helpful if I could get some cheese after 5pm on Friday!!"). Soon afterward I'm convicted; but it's like it never stops! I wish I could pinpoint the moment when this all started so I could think about what environmental influences helped me come to the conclusion that I needed to think of myself as better than they, but I don't think I was alive yet.

I mean, what is my problem? Not that I'm above sinning, but wasn't I the one who begged God to move me from the Bible Belt to meet someone who didn't believe in Jesus!? And here I am in the midst of it all with the perfect opportunity to speak of my Savior and all I can do is complain. I guess I'd be happier if I ran into an indie rocker from Philly with a few tattoos and some emotional baggage...so cliché.

So what! if I live among God's chosen ones, they still deserve to know the fullness of His love and that redemption and communion doesn't come through possessions or traditions. It's all Jesus (or "Christ plus nothing" as my pastor in Austin used to say).

What's more is it's the same God! The God of Abraham, David, Jonah and Saul loves me too. I call on Jehova Jireh, Jehova Nissi, El Shaddai and El Olam all day long! So this attitude, this "My line is more direct" mentality is basically crap. It's elitist. It's mean. And more than anything, it's not what Jesus would do!! He would do quite the opposite.

That being said, this line to God doesn't belong to me or anyone else with a Bible. We're not in a tug-of-war, we're not even on opposing teams. We're family, sitting at the Lord's table, sharing stories with each other and laughing.

And for that reason I'm going to straighten up and smile a little at my neighbors in an effort to say, pass the milk and honey brother, our Daddy's got enough to go around!

I'm Free!! To Do What I Want...Any Old Time!

I can't say that I've done any cool New Yorker things since I last updated my blog, but I have updated my resume! This past week the new Chase Freedom campaign launched and for the third time (including it's introduction) I was involved. For the past month or so, I'd get to work, pray that I could leave as early as 6:30pm and then get home around 9 or 9:30pm. On the weekends I was too mentally exhausted to do anything more than sit in my room (in the dark) and watch Lost (just finished Season 4 - amazing show). Now that everything is launched, I'll be able to leave work at a decent hour and do more than watch TV during the weekends. This is kind of a huge deal for me, there were a lot of moving parts and I feel like I handled it all pretty well. Always room for improvement though. But, for now I am going to allow myself to celebrate this one small victory! If you get a chance, visit the site!

*www.chase.com/freedom


*Yes, I realize the nation is in the midst of a debt crisis. And yes, sometimes I do feel bad for advertising credit cards. You don't have to apply, just look at the site. And if you do apply, please spend wisely, I'm not a fan of debt.

All Things New

When I graduated from high school in 2001 I had a hand full of close friends. For the most part, they are all still very close to this day and I look forward to the ups and downs that life will surely bring. After all, that's what friends are for. But I have one friend who has been up close and personal since high school, and now it is time to say farewell. I met him when I was getting ready to leave Rockwall for my first semester of college. His name is Kirkland. Some of you are reading this and thinking "Who is Kirkland? And why hasn't Amelia ever mentioned him before?" The reason for this is because Kirkland is a roll of trash bags. That's right, I've had one roll of trash bags for 7 years.

How? My mom likes to shop at Costco...that's how. When I was getting ready for college, my mom made one of her famous Costco runs and bought me this box of trash bags. Little did she know that that roll would see me through 2 universities, 10 changes of address, 4 cities and 1 job hunt. He has seen me on the mountain tops and in the valleys - he's really been there for it all. And now I'm down to my last bag. I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that I've had a roll of trash bags for 7 years or the fact that I consider him to be like family...

I've never really been a reader, but I am now. It all started on my 1 year anniversary with Gerald. In my haste to get him a present I bought him some books (which I thought he might like) and ended up buying one for myself. It was Atonement. I'd already seen and fallen in love with the movie, so I was sure that the book would be great if not perfection. I was right. Next was Blue Like Jazz, a book that I've been trying to read for 4 years - it made me laugh. If you ever want a religious gut check, read this book. It'll pull you out of the mundane religious experience and transform you into a believer. It was awesome. Then my co-worker suggested that I read The Devil in the White City. It was scary (hence the whole "devil" part of the title) and filled with those random factoids that your high school English teacher would put on quizzes just to see if you read:

1. HOW MANY TIMES DID MR. HOLMES MARRY? He never really did. He was just trying to set up a franchise in his name by fathering children all over the nation.
2. WHAT WAS THE NAME OF MR. HOLMES' FIRST VICTIM? Joe?? I'm not sure what this has to do with my graduating.
3. HOW MANY TIMES DID BURNHAM AND ROOT TRAVEL COLLECTIVELY? 15; I think that's the number, if you count their travels to and from school and New York. Again, what does this have to do with me graduating?

There were so many chapters that went on and on about what in my opinion were stupid details, that towards the end of the book I just started skimming the pages in hopes that something worth reading would come up. This man, H.H. Holmes had done so much that hadn't been detected by the police that it was hard to stomach. I really just wanted to know if the evil-doer was caught (he was) and if Burnham went down in history as a great American architect (he did). Needless to say I didn't love the book but it did make me glad that I believe in Jesus - knowing that the Lord protects His children from those kinds of people is really comforting. After that was One Mississippi, a book I randomly picked up in Target because I liked the cover and the simple fact that everything is better when it comes from Target. It was so good that I finished it in a week! Which I never do because I'm a slow reader (or so I like to think). Now I'm reading The Red Tent, which is definitely cool. The beginning was a little gross (it's hard to think of a Biblical hero, Jacob, as a young, sexually charged man, but I guess it's only natural). So far, the book is my favorite. It's an easy read and through it I'm beginning to appreciate Jewish heritage and the strong bond that women have with each other.

Another cool development in my life is the pair of Pumas that I got to build on Thursday night. Pretty cute huh? Navy, pink, gold and white. :) My team at work went to the Puma store in SoHo and had appetizers and "made" a pair of Puma shoes. (no stitching required). As soon as we got the word that we were going to go to the store everyone frantically hopped online and started designing their shoes. The only down side is that we're going to have to wait 5-7 weeks for them to come in. Just in time for football season, I guess....

A Family that Prays Together...

In my own personal opinion, Atlanta, Georgia is boring. Perhaps my opinion is skewed because I don't live in the South where people drink lemonade and speak real slow, but it's not like I'm that far removed. Even friends in the great state of Texas would say that if it's 10pm on a Saturday night and the city is so quiet that you can hear an ant sneeze, it means the city is boring.

I had fun with my family though. If anything you could say they are quite interesting. For instance, my 10 year old cousin Jada is...well...a character. The adventure began in Louisiana where my mom and sister picked her up (I'd like to say my travel to Atlanta was an adventure, but in reality I got to the airport 2hrs early and passed out in the terminal). Jada, by no stretch of the imagination, is a city girl. Raised in the country all her life, she tends to do the most random and sometimes inappropriate things. For instance:

JADA: Who all comin' to the reunion Aunt Darr-is??
MOM: All your cousins and some of your other aunts and uncles
JADA: Cuzzins?? Like who!
MOM: Well, my other daughter is your cousin and she's coming from New York
JADA: NEW YORK!?!? I bet they got swimmin' poo's up thurr!!!

Swimming pools? Yeah, I guess there are a few of those up here too...hmm.

I felt bad for my sister, Kristen, who texted me the whole 12hr drive. When they finally arrived in Atlanta they were all exhausted. My mother from driving, Jada from talking and my sister from putting up with the two.

That night, for the first time in our lives, my sister and I shared a room all by ourselves. To celebrate the occasion, we jumped on the beds. Our joy was short-lived as my mother came in later to inform us that Jada would be sleeping in our room the next night. My sister and I played Rock-Paper-Scissors to see who had to share a bed with her...I lost.

The next day was the first day of the reunion, we went on a tour of the city and saw all the famous spots like Ebenezer Baptist Church where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was pastor, the CNN Center, Olympic Park and some fancy pants mall in Buckhead. All of this in my cousin Myron's short bus (he owns a day care and therefore drives the school's bus when there aren't enough seat belts for everyone in his car...even though there aren't any seat belts in the short bus either).

The next day we went on another tour of Atlanta (in a bigger bus...still no seat belts) except traded the fancy mall for a tour of the projects. When we stopped at the CNN Center Jada bought a 2 ft long tube of colored sugar (like Fun Dip). I snatched it from her and bought her a chicken sandwich instead. I knew she was mad at me for that, but I could already tell that the outcome of that purchase would involve a headache for everyone on the bus.

That night we had dinner with the whole family. Jada, being relatively new to the clan, was compelled to iron her clothes using my sister's mouthwash in the iron. In her defense the mouthwash was clear, BUT! it did say CREST MOUTHWASH very clearly on the front. I guess she figured it out when the steam was minty fresh.

The next day was our farewell. Our family reunions are a pretty big deal since my great grand parents had 13 children and they've been having the gatherings consistently since 1980. So as the patriarch of the family, the oldest living son and my grandfather's younger brother, now 79 years old, spoke. He mentioned the likelihood of his absence at the next reunion in 2010 and how proud he was of America despite it's shortcomings. He enlisted in the U.S. Army in 1946 and began to tear up recalling those memories. He said "...my commanding officer marched up to me and my friends and yelled 'Ross! You and the other coloreds get to the back of the line and let these boys go first!'" He remembered his embarrassment and anger. If he was going to serve his country, why did he have to do it as a second class citizen? He paused a moment to collect himself, "But I'm seeing a change now. We are finally reaching a place of equality. You can see it here in Atlanta where blacks are so prosperous, and in our political system where we finally have a serious nominee. These are important times. Be thankful that you don't have to go through the things I did." There wasn't a dry eye in the room. To some extent everyone there had experienced a form of racism and appreciated the surreal-nature of this year's election (whether Obama wins or not). After that we recalled memories of reunion's past and prayed. It was a great ending to a great reunion.

My mom and sister left after exchanging hugs and phone numbers. Once on the road my mom decided to stop for lunch. Jada, being the growing child that she is, ordered two double cheeseburger MEALS. My mom wasn't havin' that so she made Jada order something smaller. She attempted to eat her tube-o-sugar, which I finally gave back, as a dessert but my sister had it hidden in the trunk.

Real Adventures

It's been more than 2 weeks since my last post and I apologize for that. Internet at my apartment was out b/c of a storm in NY and then the power cord to my computer broke. But I'm back now and ready to update le blog.

When I left you last I was extremely bored in NYC. I went to work everyday and then home, rinsed and repeated. But my how things changed! Being in advertising in NY has PLENTY of perks, and I for one am not the kind of person to turn down free stuff (shoot, I still take cool pens when I find them), but for some reason these past 2 weeks have been stuffed to the brim with cool, semi-free stuff.

Where Soul Meets Body: There are rare moments in this gals life that actually cause me to get "dressed up" for anything. And due to the nature of my randomness "dressing up" can take on several different meanings. The media team at T3 has been really great at inviting me to all kinds of events around town and I can definitely say they are the ones keeping me from totally hating NY, Tuesday June 10 was no exception. The friendly folks at YAHOO! treated us to a concert in Brooklyn...DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE!!! It was awesome - and I even knew some songs. There was an extra ticket so I invited my roommate along for the fun. Typically I'm the girl who likes to run down to the front of the stage and be in the middle of all the action, but given the number of Chucks and skinny jeans down there I figured it'd be best for me and my BCBGs to chill in the back with some locally brewed beer. Toward the end of the night a storm started a-brewin'. It was seriously just like in The Wizard of Oz except I don't think Dorothy got a mouth full of dirt and grass at any point. I half expected to see a munchkin. The band announced that they were going to head out due to the monsoon-like nature of the storm and my fellow concert-goers and I followed suit. We made it to the subway just as the fattest raindrops in the history of man began to fall. ***NOTE*** This is the storm that took my internet and cable service out for a week.

First Fruits (of the Feminine Sort): Yet another advertising perk! The media team invited me along to this place called FemmeGems. It was awesome. We drank wine, ate sushi and quoted SNL while obsessing over our designs. My necklace was green and gold and really fancy if I do say so myself. After that, a co-worker and I went to a party hosted by WebMD. The party was just like you imagine an NY party to be, huge expensive loft, funky techno beats rockin in the background and a rooftop deck with amazing views of the city. There were even ladies giving manicures and back rubs. It was pretty close to crazy. And like any media hosted party, there were all kinds of WebMD-centric facts on the wall:

3 of 4 women use WebMD!

WebMD is AWESOME!

9 of 10 doctors consult WebMD when diagnosing their patients!

I made that last one up...Anyway, later in the night there was a drawing and I won a 3 month membership to this SWANK gym called Equinox. The website makes it look kinda like a brothel, but I hear it's actually very nice. Like seriously celeb-worthy. As soon as my membership at the YMCA is up, I'm upgrading...I'm gonna be so fly.

On my way out of the WebMD party I grabbed a parting gift...it had an iPod Shuffle in it. I gave it to my cousin because it matched her fingernail polish.


If You Like Pina Coladas!: Last Saturday I finally made use of the world's most elaborate picnic set. It was given to me by Rachael when I graduated from college. I love it and have been dying to use it for 2 years. When I suggested a day in the Central Park to my friend Taylor, she agreed. I told her I'd bring along my picnic set and we could pack it full with wine and other goodies. We also found out that the summer concert series was kicking off in the Park that afternoon and the first show was free. Our afternoon was going to be perfect!

I met Taylor in Union Square, grabbed some groceries, threw everything in my picnic cooler and headed uptown. We found a nice shaded spot in the park, called a friend to meet us and set up our spot. We figured since we could hear the music from where we were, there was no need to move later.

Then it came...the sprinkles...

At first it wasn't so bad, and considering we were under several trees we felt like we'd be able to wait it out. I prayed every few moments "Jesus, please don't ruin my Saturday." I wanted so badly to enjoy a Saturday with a friend and not have to spend another weekend in my room checking Facebook over and over.

Then there was thunder...

We hastily threw everything back in the picnic bag and tried to make it to the subway before it began to pour. We had no luck and were forced to set up camp at the corner of 72 & Madison Ave under the awning at the Ralph Lauren store - it was very taboo.

***NOTE*** The extra clean sidewalks and gutters

We entertained ourselves by laughing at the soaked concert goers and throwing olive pits into a bush about 10ft away while hollering things like "THREE POINTS!" and "NUTHIN' BUT NET!!". Two bottles of wine, a container of marinated olives and a wedge of cheese later the rain finally stopped. All three of us dripped back to the subway and headed home. Turns out Jesus didn't ruin my Saturday (not that He would've), He just had His own plans which were more fun and had a lot more laughs.

Wreckless Love: Gerald was offered an opportunity to help film a pilot for a reality television show (or something like that...I don't really understand all the details). As part of the filming, the cast and crew went to several different cities along the east coast...including NYC!!!!!! I was so happy to see Gerald! He said the minute they mentioned New York he said yes (LOVE HIM!!). We finally got to see each other after a month and a half of phone conversations. It was great. Tuesday night we hung out and had dinner with the cast and crew. Wednesday I needed to pack for my family reunion in Atlanta, so I had to be logical that night and say no to any hangouts.

He called me mid-day and said he got tickets to the Alicia Keys concert. I was so jealous!! Later that afternoon he called back and asked if I wanted to go. I said no...after all, I had to pack for Atlanta and I had to leave plenty of time to get to Newark. I wanted NO room for error in my first NYC solo airport experience. Can you blame me? He said he was glad that I was being "rational" (I'm usually the one saying "hey...you wanna go jump off some cliffs while we wait for your oil to be changed??"...something outlandish and a little crazy).

He called AGAIN and begged me to come. Why in the world was he encouraging me to be wreckless??? I had responsibilities and my mom would be really disappointed if I missed my flight to Atlanta.

I said yes anyway...I couldn't resist one last night with Gerald while he was in the city.

I met him at Madison Square Garden where he was waiting with VIP passes and our tickets. We stopped in the VIP room for a little bit, had a little grub and then went down to the concert. We had missed the opening act (Jordin Sparks & Ne-Yo...Rihanna even joined him for his last song!) but Gerald assured me that we had great seats. I asked the usher where to go; he pointed and said "walk down those stairs and go all the way to the stage". I nearly pooped myself. Part of me thought "surely this man is joking". After we got to the stairs I asked another usher, she said "go down these stairs and all the way to the stage". WHAT!!! I asked a third usher "You'll need to talk to that man next to the stage". HOLY CRAP!!!! At this rate I was sure I was going to be able to smell Alicia's breath. Our seats were RIGHT NEXT TO THE STAGE! I could've reached out and touched it had it not been for Ronaldo the security guard.


See...blockin!!!

I still got some great pics though! :)

After the concert we went to Times Square and the The Empire State Building, which is really frightening once you think about how high it really is.
















Next time I'll tell you all about my family reunion, my summer book club (there's only one member) and my best friend (hint, he's plastic and can be kinda dirty)...

Throw Back

I don't know what prompted these thoughts today as I was walking home, but I figured that I should share some of my favorite memories w/the world...

Sleep On It
It must've been about 1992. I was at a friend's house for a sleep over. I had a HUGE crush on her older brother and I would've done anything in the world to get his attention, but it's hard to make a high school boy fall madly in love when you look like this...



or this...


anyway...back to the story.

We were all in the living room (which happened to be right under my beloved's bedroom) with our sleeping bags and blankets talking about girl stuff and giggling. I had been quiet most of the night because being within about 100 ft of him made me nervous. Soon the girlish conversation turned to "retarded people" (middle schoolers can be so mean) and I had to say something. It was wrong to talk about people who were different and someone I loved very much was in that position!!! Quietly I said "Guys, that's not funny..." The whole room fell silent, everyone turned their heads towards me, daring me to speak. I took a breath and spoke with confidence "Y'all, my dad is retarded!" Everyone was quiet. I knew they saw my point.

"Amelia," our host said. "Your dad is RETIRED!"
"Ohh!"

The walls shook with laughter. Apparently "retired" and "retarded" are two different things and for that very reason I would never lie safely in the arms of the man who rested in the waterbed on the second floor.

Extra Cool
In middle school my neighbors were popular kids at the public school (I went to private school from pre-k to 8th grade). They had a golf cart and were nice enough to let me and my sister ride around on it with them from time to time (not sure why, because I know I wasn't cool - I was into science and math and stuff like that and I didn't cuss). Anyway, I got rollerblades for Christmas one year and practiced on them all spring so that I could be seen in the neighborhood that summer gliding around in the year's hottest trend (got a Sega Genesis that year, too. I guess the clean mouth at good grades got me in with Santa).

Finally summer came, and I was ready for my rollerblading adventure. My cool neighbors decided to take a spin in their golf cart, but I had wheels of my own. They convinced me that it would be fun for us all to ride around together using our respective modes of transportation. I agreed and off we went. And, as can be expected during a Texas summer, it was scorchingly hot...hotter than we realized when we left the house. So back home to get some food and refreshments we went, only there was one problem. We would have to climb a massive hill (it's not really all that big, but at the time it seemed huge). I was tired, hot and didn't have the energy to go up a hill of that size, there wasn't enough room on the golf cart for me to ride, so the boys suggested that I hold on to a strap attached to the back of the cart and let them pull me up. I grabbed the strap and up the hill we went with me screaming behind the cart "SLOW DOWN!! SLOW DOWN!!!". Stupidly I let go of the strap and went flying down the hill BACKWARDS. This time the screaming was louder. Finally I landed in some some old man's grass after barely missing a passing car and tumbling over the curb. How embarrassing.

The rollerblades were stolen later that summer...good riddance!!

My neighbors and I never really became friends outside of that summer either. That's probably a good thing too because I'm sure they would've teased me about the incident later. Besides that when we all got to high school they hung out with the kids who had the "cool parents" - like Regina George from "Mean Girls"

I'm Boring...

Someone please tell me why I moved to NYC to go to wake up, ride the train into the city, walk to blocks, ride an elevator up, work, ride the elevator back down, walk two blocks again, ride the train back to Brooklyn, then go to sleep?

I'm boring...

My friend told me it would be like this when I was considering moving here. She told me that at first it would feel like a business trip and then it would start to feel like "home". Well, it's been a month and I have yet to do anything that I couldn't have done in Austin (or so I'd like to think). Maybe I'm under-estimating the coolness of myself and the events I've attended...

1. Two Yankee Games
It's the last season in the House that Ruth Built. I've always enjoyed baseball, but only because I don't actually have to pay attention. I just sit, eat my hot dog and talk. Even if you sit there with your eyes closed you can enjoy yourself if not for the conversation then certainly for the weather. Both times the seats were amazing. Once 2 rows behind the dugout another in a luxury box. I guess that's cool...

2. Sushi!!
I've had a lot of sushi since I moved here. More than I would've eaten in Austin fo shizz. One place is where one of my favorite movies, Prime, was filmed the other is known for it's great tasting rolls (if it were up to me, I'd order Philadelphia Rolls till the day I die, so I guess it's good that I'm getting out there and trying some other rolls)

3. Sex & The City the Movie
Ok, seeing Sex & The City IN the City was actually pretty cool. Can't pinpoint the reason why, but it just was.

4. Subways
Navigating the subway system in NY isn't all that bad if you are literate and know left from right. For the most part, I've gotten from A to B without problems, after all, most days I just go to work and back, and I'd like to say that I'm pretty good reading a map even when I do decide to venture out. But goodness gracious! The times I have gotten lost (or even gotten on the train late) have been quite a doozy! After each Yankee game I've gotten back AFTER 12:30am b/c of one subway mishap or another and there are ALWAYS varying degrees of crazy people on the train no matter what time of day it is (for example, a man this morning stood in front of the doors, bobbed his head and danced to imaginary music during the ride and would stop and stand like a statue each time the train stopped. He'd just stand there and wouldn't move...no lie).

...see...I am boring...

I don't know what I'm expecting. Hopefully things will pick up soon and I'll have cool stories about running into street fairs, free concerts in the park and late night adventures in taxi cabs. Until then, I guess I'll just check Facebook and read news headlines.

See Me After Class...

You ever wonder what it would be like if God were your teacher? I know God is already a teacher in so many ways, but I mean a different kind. The paper-grading, eyeglass-wearing, quirky sense of humor-having kind of teacher.

You ever wonder what His lesson plan for you looks like? I do. And I wonder how many times He's had to go over those lessons with me and if I'm making any progress. For instance, today we went over one of His favorites and I wish I could say that it only took a few minutes for me to grasp the concept, but I'm sure we've been reviewing it for the past week. He's at the board teaching His heart out surrounded by a cloud of chalk dust and I'm sitting here putting on lip gloss and passing notes.

It all started last week. I was talking to Gerald one night and it all just hit me. I can't say exactly what "it" was, probably a combination of things. Work, distance, fear, frustration, friends, family, pressure, the list went on. I started to cry. He tried to help me through it, he was patient and said just the right things, but for some reason I couldn't be appeased. The next day I went to work feeling heavy - the sort of heaviness that you feel when your spirit is weighed down. This happened pretty much every day until today. If it wasn't one thing then it was another. Even getting to church on Sunday caused strife! Then Tuesday 5/26 came around. Work was normal - an influx of projects, all with tight deadlines; nothing I hadn't dealt with before. It wasn't until after work that the "real" problems began.

It was getting late and all I really wanted to was go home, but I knew if I took work home with me I wouldn't actually do it so I stayed around to finish up - either way, it's cool to stay until it's a little dark because I have the BEST view of the Empire State Building from my office. Definitely worth the extra hour to experience that. Doooown the elevator, into the GAP (5th Ave is going to be a problem for me) and to the subway. I had had trouble over the weekend with my MetroCard, so I figured I'd make the attendant work a little this evening to get it all fixed. Turns out there was nothing that could be done about the mishap and I couldn't get a refund. My throat tightened. I couldn't tell if I was fighting tears or the urge to yell. Quietly, I walked over to the card vending machine to purchase a new pass. But my card wasn't working. I tried the other machine and still nothing.

Is this machine taking credit cards?
Yes.
Ok, I'll try again.

I must've tried 20 more times. Still nothing. I stomped up the stairs to call and complain to Gerald about the whole thing and the absolute tragedy it was to have to go get cash from an ATM 2 whole blocks away (OH THE HORROR!!). Finally, I bought my new card and went to wait for the train. After a few minutes I felt the stinky, hot breeze on my face and knew I was just 30 minutes from home. The doors opened, exhausted I found a seat on the near empty car as the doors shut. Took a look around and started to go to my happy "I don't have to worry about traffic or diving" place; it was at that moment I realized that I was on the wrong train. It pulled away from the station as a defeated sigh escaped my lips.

I switched trains at the next stop and was finally home free. I called Gerald after I got off. It was at that moment that the Lord's lesson plan finally became clear...

This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.
~Psalm 118:24

So fundamental...

It's so easy for me to get caught up in the moment and what's going wrong at that very moment and neglect the big picture. I have to force myself to remember that it's the same God and the same plan - good or bad. Always has been and always will be. And I am so thankful that He doesn't get frustrated and smite me, because I know He's shown me that lesson before. I'm even more grateful that He isn't a paper-grading, eyeglass wearing, quirky sense of humor-having teacher because I know my tests would come back with a huge F and a little note that says "I know you can do better than this. See me after class."

Comedy of Errors

Yesterday I went to the grocery store in my neighborhood for the first time. I've been looking forward to this all week long. I imagined meeting the friendly clerk, with a thick accent, finding my items with ease, checking out and yelling back "See you next week!" to my new friend. Soon we'd wave to each other on the street and he'd invite me to have dinner with his delightful family and to see his children's plays at Junior High School 62. In my mind, this was the experience that my need for deli slices and fresh produce would eventually earn me.

I was wrong...

First of all, I went in the opposite direction of the grocery store when I left my apartment. So I ended up in a location (which I thought I recognized) that was quite sketchy. I walked into what I thought was the grocery store which my roommates called "really great". It had three aisles of canned food, a shelf stocked with gum and candy and a refrigerator full of sodas. A can of generic green beans was $1.09.

Yup...$1.09...generic green beans. See ya.

I attempted to shop. Soon enough I placed my items back on the shelf and walked out and back toward my apartment. Finally, I found the real store. The outside was charming with it's heaps of fruits and vegetables, the inside was a different story. It was a madhouse. Imagine a 10'x20' room, full of rows of unidentifiable canned items, a refrigerator full of more unidentifiable items, a stack of nuts, a row of fruits and vegetables (those were easily identified - but they could've put those outside with the rest of them...) and dead fish. All sorts and sizes. OH! and don't forget the random foods being pickled (including fish). Add in about 40 people and you've got my very first grocery shopping experience in Brooklyn! To add to strangeness of the experience, Latino music was blaring over the loud speaker. I'm serious. Only this kind of stuff happens to me...At one point I picked up an air-tight package of meat and asked the shop owner what it was. She pursed her lips, shut her eyes and growled "It's bacon..."

Don't give me that attitude! This is a predominately Jewish neighborhood!!!

I grabbed some apples, plums, a tomato, an onion and some "rice" and went home. I needed a nap, but I watched "Pushin' Daisies" online instead. Later I went roller skating with a friend from work. After the rink we went to a Dave & Buster's somewhere on Long Island. Very interesting characters those folks from L.I. One girl (who might have been 17) was wearing a black tube dress with a Burberry-patterned sash tied around her waist (I call it a sash, but it was really just a piece of cloth) and some red shoes that missed the fashion mark I think she was trying to hit. I watched her and her group of friends for a while. They were working hard to prove to the middle-aged D&B-ers that they were able to have as much fun as any person there - with or without a high school diploma. I remember being that age and feeling like I was mature and wise beyond my years. That label would've been true had I avoided doing a back flip from the bleachers (and busting my chin - 8 stitches!), inviting two football players in through my window in the middle of the night (don't worry, nothing happened. At the time I contended that they were just being funny, but now I realize I could've lost much more than sleep that night - thanks mom for bustin' that up. And for the record, there is no "non-embarrassing" way to do that, so to my friends with children, don't avoid confrontation for the sake of your child's reputation) and abusing my body to resemble a waif at prom. And while I can't identify with that group of girls in my fashion or entertainment choices, the mindset is familiar territory and I pray they make it out with just a few stitches and the memory of how skinny they were on prom night.